Top 5 Things I Hate About Miley Cyrus' New Video

By Selena Fragassi
Published: May 6th, 2010 | 12:35pm

On May 4, E! Online premiered the music video for Miley Cyrus' new single, "I Can't Be Tamed."

Can't Be Tamed

Miley Cyrus | MySpace Music Videos

It seems that only yesterday the 17-year-old was "partying in the U.S.A.," but I guess a backyard BBQ is just too "tame" for this wild animal these days. Besides the obviously horrible music, here are five things I find wrong with this video:

1. Bones to pick with those hot wings

There's one thing I hate: birds. But what's even worse than a filthy pigeon? Miley Cyrus dressed as a vulture. An endangered vulture. With green eyeshadow. If this is Cyrus' way of spreading her wings in the industry, girlfriend better watch out for the BB-gun that is sure to make her career extinct in the next 15 minutes.

2. No shoes, no shirt, no pants

Are teenage girls' allowances being dramatically cut? Because I can't find one that still wears pants.

3. Mute, please

Seriously, someone give Miley some Kleenex so she can clear her nose. It's cute when you're twelve and sparring lines with your dad on the Disney channel, but there's no room for congestion in real pop music.

4. Will the real Miley Cyrus/Destiny Hope Cyrus/Hannah Montana please stand up?

I know teenagers have a hard time getting out of bed, especially a bed made out of peacock feathers, but this is just lazy. I really hope those feathers are itchy because otherwise, there's no need for a 17-year-old to be writhing like a Desperate Housewife.

5. So you think you can dance?

Did her choreographer watch a Tae-Bo video? Shoulder rolls and cross jabs are for the gym, not the natural history museum, and it's all a bit amateur for a little bird who's trying to join the Britney-Gaga flock.

Selena Fragassi is Venus Zine's music editor.