Siera Cerny Loves Jeppson's Malort

By Siera Cerny
Published: May 24th, 2010 | 11:35am

Those who have tasted this heady, underappreciated alcoholic beverage might call me crazy for saying that I love it. As a matter of fact, I get that a lot. And my usual response is this: save it. I already know that the flavor of Malort has been compared to that of a tire fire, burnt dirt, black Listerine, and many other unfortunate combinations, but that doesn't change the fact that Malort holds a permanent spot in my heart and liquor cabinet (aka the top of my fridge). The distinct bite and unique side effects remind me a lot of myself, as I am somewhat awkward and often misunderstood.

Here's an idea: Take a sugar-rimmed shot glass of Malort and follow it up with a slice of grapefruit. It's called the Malort Lauderdale, a drink that came to fruition after an intense, hands-on scientific study. The results proved that the bittersweet glory of grapefruit takes everything bad about Malort and makes it delicious and awesome. The subjects of the controlled experiment had little to no complaints of the taste and often asked for a second helping.

It is true that my go-to drink is a vodka soda: simple, refreshing, and impossible to mess up. But if there is Malort behind the bar—whether grapefruit is available or not—I'll be the first to buy a round for anybody willing to take the leap.

Comments

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amandahughes (about 1 year)
whoa, lady you are hard-core!

dcerny (about 1 year)
Thanks to Siera, I tried Malort and thought it tasted like grapefruit rind. It's obviously much like her, in a class by itself! I'm going to try the grapfruit slice next time and shoot for the high!